Shoprite Scene: A Blasted Heath
More big news over at Shoprite, in the sense of big stuff happening that probably won’t change much, like Australia slipping into the South Indian Ocean leaving little but a line of bobbing corks to show that it was ever there… where were we? Ah yes. So the shareholders have generously given the nod to Shoprite’s repurchase of Whitey Basson’s R1.7bn worth of shares, which should get him a couple of rounds at Fancourt at least, which is nice. And more significantly, although perhaps not unrelatedly, Steinhoff has now agreed to acquire shares in Shoprite that go with voting rights of 50.6%, through an investment vehicle called STAR. Anyway, here’s an imaginary conversation between two old friends, just a bit of fun you understand:
Oom Christo Wiese: Whitey old man
James Wellwood “Whitey” Basson: Yes boss?
OCW: I was thinking of having Steinhoff take a controlling interest in Shoprite, using an investment vehicle called STAR.
JWWB: Not on my watch. I like things the way they are, and I’ve still got some swing with the punters.
OCW: There might be something in it for you…
JWWB: How much are we talking?
OCW: How does a cool 1.75 big boys sound? I should be able to squeeze it past the board.
JWWB: You’re on. How soon can I get out of here?
Comment: We’re almost certain it didn’t go down like this at all.