Some of the more hatchet-faced analysts are less than amused by Pick n Pay’s results – turnover up a sketchy 5.9%, trading profit down 13.5% and headline earnings down 7%. Of equal concern is the old balance sheet: Pick n Pay’s shareholders’ equity (consisting, as you are aware, of assets minus liabilities) is R2.2bn, with R1.3bn of it tied up in Franklin’s, under threat of being sold off piecemeal for a lot less and, and the other R800million in the SA business, which is currently financing R950m of short-term and R600m long-term debt. Then there’s the trading margin, 2.7% before you factor in the ongoing costs of the Smart Shopper loyalty programme. All is not lost however. While Longmeadow is living up to its name in the time it’s taking to kick in, centralised distribution will inevitably start to deliver, ahem. As will the completion of the Sap rollout, Smart Shopper itself and various other initiatives. Fair enough. But what really stings the analyst is the heart-warming tradition, at a time like this, of paying an annual dividend.

Comment: Shareholders, eh. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t fire ‘em. More here from the excellent Sasha Planting.

Clicks has had a scorcher of an HFY, with Group turnover up 13.5% (and the Clicks brand up 15.8%) and operating profit screaming heavenward at a rate of 23.5%, due in no small measure to rocketing sales of private label, aggressive promotions and the continued rollout of pharmacies, which drive footfall and are currently sitting at 266, although somewhat threatened by a shortage of trained chemists and white coats to dress them in. Also on the downside is the dirgey performance of Musica (sales down 2.5%, profit down 9.4%) and deflation at The Body Shop, which saw revenue fall 10%. The phlegmatic Mr Kneale says that a tough six months is in the offing.

Comment: Although the resurgent Clicks should be equal to its challenges.

A week after SAB’s technical victory over the Competition Commission, Astral Foods has won a signal victory against another government department, this time the sinisterly – and vaguely-named National Regulator for Compulsory Specifications. In a statement released by The Regulator earlier this month, it accused Astral’s Country Fair brand of repeated violations of the Legal Metrology Act – mainly that the Starry One had put underweight products into the coffin fridges of our nation’s great supermarkets. Despite Astral’s sincere and successful attempts to improve its performance in this regard, the offending statement was released before a visit by the regulator to Astral’s plants which proved their willingness to change. Reading between the lines, it would appear that the practice of ice glazing chickens to prevent freezer burn might have been causing the underweight issues.

Comment: A close reading of this publication will reveal that it is 97% factual and 76.3% relevant. And we are prepared to stand by that.

With a $39.5million tax bill on the invoice for the 2006 purchase of Foster’s Indian assets chasing it down in India and a R26grand fine for unfair competition practices nipping at its heels in Zambia, it is perhaps unsurprising that SABMiller is taking refuge in the untrammelled wastes of the world’s newest country, Southern Sudan, where it will be investing an additional $15million to increase production capacity and build on the strong performance of its portfolio of local brands, which include the evocatively named White Bull and Nile Special brewskis, of which 500,000 more hectolitres will be produced annually at the Juba brewery, into which $37million have quite literally been poured but which still has room for another $15million more.

Comment: Cheers, Bwana!

Employment rose 5.6% for the month of March, with gains coming through in all sectors according to the boffins over at the Adcorp. Particularly pleasing were transport (18.3%) electricity (13.6%) agriculture (11.8%) mining (11.5%) professional services (10.8%) machine operators (10.4%) and agency employment (9.9%). Formal sector employment grew 7.3% and informal sector employment just 2%. Adcorp are of the view that 19 million South Africans are currently employed, 13 million of them formally. Certain hoary commentators will believe it when they see it, thank you very much, and question the sustainability of jobs created in retail and services.

Comment: But, hey.

Our condolences to the family, friends and colleagues of Pietro Ferrero, late CEO of Ferrero Rocher, who died of a suspected heart attack while cycling in Cape Town, where he was on holiday with his father – and company founder – Michele. Ferrero Rocher, as you know, dominates the impulse basket with its foil-wrapped chocolates, Kinderjoy eggs and Nutella spread.