Trade Tatler (TT): Hey there, big guy. You’re looking good. Same devilish grin, same pointy shoes. What you been up to?
Sean Summers (SS): Nothing much. The usual. Globetrotting after sporting events. Losing the old shirt on a pyramid scheme. Driving Ferraris. Advising companies in the retail arena … non-competitively obviously. Generally just working out the old restraint, I suppose. Or, more accurately, not.
TT: Anything in the pipeline, at all, that we should know about?
SS: Steinhoff – heard of them? Furniture boys. I’m sort of coordinating their operations in Europe, Africa and the Pacific Rim, including of course Australia, where I have been spending some time overseeing a bit of a management switcheroo. Aus, eh. Great Southern Land. Long, straight roads, just miles and miles of eeeeeeeaaaaooowwrgh! Eeeeeeeaaoowrgh!! Screaming engines! Stampeding kangaroos! The heady, heady smell of unleaded gasoline! The almighty rush of it all!! Sorry, where was I?
TT: Steinhoff, obviously, is a sizeable business, all of whose retail revenue is derived offshore. It has recently gained access to the sizeable French market with the acquisition of Conforama.
SS: Correct. And might I just add that they are as smart as foxes.

Comment: And we might just add: it takes one to know one.

Whereas Mr Christo Wiese, Chairman of Shoprite and Pepkor, will be purchasing 33% of the equity in Brait Holdings, thusly becoming its anchor shareholder, and whereas Pepkor will itself be purchased by Brait to the tune of 24.5% of its equity, and notwithstanding the fact that Shoprite Holdings, the board of which whereon Mr Wiese is also chair, deals in items of foodstuffs and Pepkor trades in apparel, creating an island of collaborative opportunity in an ocean of hostility, and whereas Brait is to buy 49.9% of Premier Foods, which is a supplier to the aforementioned Shoprite, it really is all looking rather cosy right now. Brait, you will recall, already owns 20% of Pepkor and is intent on snaffling another 24.6% for R4.18biljoens, and will be forking out R1.1billion for its slice of Premier.

Comment: That’s how you do it.

The Economic Development Department, The dti and the Department of Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries have made a joint submission to the lofty patricians of the Competition Tribunal, criticising the Marts, both Wal and Mass, for their perceived unwillingness to make any binding commitments vis-à-vis the impact of the merger between the two on local procurement, food security and BEE. The three departments were seeking a commitment from Wakro that it “at least maintain or increase the percentage of pre-merger local procurement by product category”.

Comment: Where do we start? With the dti, one of whose primary functions is to secure, not scare off foreign investment? With the Department of Agriculture, etc, who seems suddenly blind to the tons of apples and the hectolitres of wine already being bought by Walmart here? Public – and increasingly commercial – life in South Africa is currently being smothered by a blanket of box-ticking, point-scoring and agenda driving.

Shoprite has (subject of course to approval by the Competition Commission) put in an offer to purchase all of Metcash’s franchise stores. Metcash has about 265 franchised stores trading in various formats including convenience and supermarkets under the Friendly, Seven Eleven and price Club Discount Supermarkets brands, while Shoprite has 273 members in its OK franchise division. For Shoprite, it’s getting some excellent locations and a dramatically expanded footprint in food, while Metcash will be getting a great (but undisclosed) pile of cash to reinvest in the heavily-geared business. According to Peter Dodson the move will help Metcash focus on its core business and proceed with the strategy of converting some existing stores into hybrids.

Comment: Unexpected and intriguing stuff which will give the bright fellers over at Massmart pause for thought.

When Unilever bought Sara Lee back in the year 10, it little suspected that the prickly bureaucrats of the EU competition authorities would demand that it sell off the Sanex deodorant brand to allay anti-trust fears – for The Big Blue, Sanex was in fact the jewel in the proverbial crown and the reason the deal was done in the first place. Now – and far be it from us to liken some of the world’s finest FMCG businesses to the hyenas and vultures of the Serengeti – the P&Gs, Henkels and Colgate-Palmolives are circling, each of them eager for a nip of the coveted deo. P&G and Colgate each have more than enough wedge to buy Sanex from Unilever. Word on the street is that the interest from the big chaps should enable Unilever to fetch up to a billion US for Sanex.

Comment: Which might be of some comfort to them on those hot summer days.

It’s tough out there in the world of wine and spirits, as Distell will tell you – the punters are looking for less-expensive options when it comes to recreational beveraging, and completion in the sector is intense, with everyone spending more and more on exclusive secret rooftop parties and promotional trinketry than ever before. Nevertheless, say Distell, we kept our end up – total revenue up 3.6% to R6.8billions for the six months to December, although operating profit, admittedly, was just a touch down at R948 million. Locally, sales volumes were up by 3.2%, and revenue by 6.2%, driven by growth in cider and ready-to-drinks, which offset a mild decline in wine and a drop in spirits.

Comment: Literally, that drop in spirits, not figuratively. Obviously.

The results of Imperial Logistics State of Logistics Survey are out, and they’re a mixed bag this year. For example, while the consistently high total cost of logistics decreased by 1.2% from 2008 to 2009, this happened within the context of a recession and declining diesel prices, and points to a sector that is underperforming when it comes to efficiencies. There is also an indication that our harbours are performing inefficiently – for example, Durban Harbour, where we spent many happy days sailing in our childhood, was the most expensive harbour of 12 used to benchmark internationally. On the upside, value creation through outsourcing and closer collaboration between trading partners in the area of logistics were identified as areas of opportunity where South Africa could make the move from mediocrity to global competitiveness.

Comment: You’ll find more excellent stuff from the survey right here.

The outbreak of foot and mouth disease in Northern KZN – the result of criminal negligence on the part of the authorities in charge of keeping the border fence with Swaziland in good repair – has caused the temporary suspension of all red meat sales from the RS of A, a move which has the support of the Red Meat Producer’s Organisation (RPO), which points out that due to our love of shisa nyama, we are a net importer of red meat and in fact only export 1% of what we produce. As we periodically need to remind ourselves, foot and mouth disease does not affect people, and meat sold in the formal trade is perfectly safe for you and I to sink our teeth into on Saturday after South Africa have beaten India with one ball left of the innings.

Comment: Although a nice veg biryani might also hit the spot.

Not so long ago, we were tutting and clicking our tongues at pictures of echoing Zimbabwean aisles with no glimmer of merchandise to be seen. And now, we are reliably informed, SPAR has launched a brace of SPAR Express convenience stores in Harare, having opened 12 stores nationally in the past 18 months and are planning on another 10 by June this year.

Coke and Heinz have announced a unique partnership in sustainable packaging practices with the development of Coke’s PlantBottle packaging for use as a receptacle for tomato sauce. The catchily-named PlantBottle uses 30% plant extracts rather than non-renewable resources like petroleum in its plastic.

And while we’re on the subject of Shoprite acquisitions, word on the street is that a certain KZN chain last mentioned in connection with Massmart, and with a name not dissimilar to that of one of Shoprite’s own trading brands, might be an acquisition target of The Big Red One, competition authorities permitting.