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You’ll be wanting to know about those interims. We ourselves had the privilege of attending the presentation, and it was a perhaps less exuberant affair than usual. But a solid performance, reported Dr Basson, in tough conditions. Retailers, he confessed, have had a heck of a time of it these last six months, with low inflation, havoc resulting from a stronger rand, particularly when it comes to trying to earn a crust in African currencies, and the big boys competing ever more aggressively on price. So turnover up 9.4% to R36.26billion year-on-year, despite internal price deflation of 1.2%, and trading profit up 11.9% to R1.85billion. Market share, which still counts for something down in Brackenfell, is calculated at 34.5% with the competition, variously, coming in at 29% (the blue stripe), 25% (the cheerful green one) and 12% (the elegant black line). Once again, Usave delivered a rocking performance, growing sales a blistering 20 something percent. And Africa remains the continent of opportunity, with Nigeria, Ghana and Angola the jewels in its crown, challenges notwithstanding.

Comment: On Walmart, we remain a little cagey, referring to it in terms of jobs lost and gained and food security compromised, although there was a veiled allusion to competing ruthlessly on the price of food.

If you want loyalty, as the old saying goes, get a loyalty programme. Or a Labrador. The former of which is what the Dapper One did some time ago and boy has it worked, with loyal shoppers growing food sales 11.8% for the 26 weeks to December, with like-store sales up 9% and something they’re calling return on sales up 3.8% to 5.3%. But back to that loyalty programme: the card-based scheme, which offers discounts to the posher punter and rewards them for shopping across the Woolies clothing brands, had achieved its 9-month target in a scant 13 weeks, which points, says CEO Ian Moir, to customers who have a sense of ownership in the business. Better procurement has played its part in the achievement of superior margins, and as normally hard-bitten analysts have pointed out, Woolies was the first to get hit by the downturn, but has proved itself swifter to recovery also.

Comment: Woolies shoppers eh. They think they own the place.

The Barloworld Logistics’ annual supplychainforesight survey is out and the results are interesting, more in a Chinese curse sense than an Animal Planet sense. The survey is a comprehensive view of leadership positions on various supply chain and logistics issues, and the focus this year was on the strategies businesses are evolving in order to run competitive supply chains in emerging economies. Some tidbits: the three major supply chain objectives for leadership are improving service levels to customers, lowering procurement costs and, interestingly, aligning the supply chain with business strategy. Sustainability is coming into its own, with 52% of businesses expecting their logistics providers to reduce their carbon footprint. And of note once again was the vast discrepancy between what we transport by increasingly potholed road and what by poorly administered rail, and how many businesses remain keen to migrate to rail if it was viable.

Comment: There’s loads more critical stuff right here.

As the Consumer Protection Act extends its cold grip on the sector we call home, retailers are tightening up their agreements with suppliers of complementary medicines, to hold them more responsible for both the safety and efficacy of remedies produced by an industry which is otherwise largely unregulated. Pick n Pay and Dischem, for example, have started to require Good Manufacturing Process (GMP) certificates from suppliers, while Clicks is beginning to carry out audits on the sweat lodges, teepees and even factories where complementary medicines are manufactured to ensure that they are up to spec.

Comment: Sceptics, us?

Some of those budget highlights:

Tax Relief: R8.1billion, only 12% of which goes to you high flyers, but 50% of which goes to the poorer punter
Fags and Beer: 20c more for those Chesterfields, 6.4c more for a cold one
Welfare Grants: Old age up R60 per month, child support up R10, foster care up R30
Young Workers: R5billion in subsidies here
Job Creation: R100billion for jobs and skills over three years, R73billion for temporary jobs through the dear old EPWP
Fuel Prices: Through the roof
Infrastructure: R800billion more

Comment: Wishful thinking – priceless

Something else that slipped by us in the December rush was the offer by Massmart to purchase Rhino Cash ‘n Carry for a sum that is known to us, ahem. Rhino consists of 30-odd stores including two wholesalers and a number of liquor outlets, in rural and peri-urban areas in KZN and the Eastern Cape. It is part of Massmart’s Shield buying group, a fact which will hopefully help its case over at the Competition Commission.

On Beauty: “Have you got an airbrush? At my age, I don’t take ordinary photographs anymore.”
On Academe: “I think I was the first Afrikaner to get an honorary doctorate at an English University like Stellenbosch.”
On Technology: “I have an iPad. I can look up the time on it. And the date.”
On Financial Management: “Christo Wiese doesn’t like to pay anyone a salary.”
On Geopolitics: “We nearly went to Libya. I’m hell of a glad we didn’t.”
On Relationships: “Nataniël and Mendoza make an excellent pair.”
On Truth: “I think we lied about the 400 cheeses – it was 385.”