So, those SPAR results then, summarised and in a much more easily digestible format than that brief we received earlier. “Modest” in their words, with turnover up +5.3% to R95.5bn for the 12 months ended 30 September, and gross profit up +14.6% to R9.6bn. “These results reflect the weak state of consumer buying power and confidence,” their words again, although they could be the words of any business within our sector at this troublesome juncture. On the upside, things in Ireland have been going as swimmingly as Durban’s, and indeed Dublin’s, weather right now, with solid operating profit growth and market share gains across most of its retail brands. And on the pharmaceutical wholesaler front (yes, they have one of those now too), the group purchased a 60% shareholding in S Buys effective 1 October 2017 for a sweet R45m. The remaining 40% will be scooped up in 2022. Need a nifty 1-page summary that you can slap on your boss’ desk, or if you’re the boss, peruse at cruising altitude in your G6? Click right on here then. You’re welcome.

Comment: This is the first time in a long while that we have seen ripples in SPAR SA. But with Ireland, Switzerland and pharmacy humming along as they are, we’ve no doubt such ripples will be smoothed out soon enough.

Retailing and financial services go hand in hand, and what Pick n Pay have dabbled in recently merely confirms this notion. Take their recent Bitcoin experiment, where for a short while punters at their head office campus store could use Bitcoin to pay by scanning a QR code using a wallet app on their smartphone. Or the more recent announcement that they’ve introduced something they’re calling Chop-Chop Checkout to facilitate online shopping which enables punters to make single click payments for orders once their card details have been stored using a 3D Secure process. This is going to drive online sales big time once people have twigged onto its convenience. And the Bitcoin experiment, while ahead of its time, has had the welcome if unintended consequence of making Pick n Pay an employer of choice for those tech-savvy youngsters everyone seems to so keen on these days.

Comment: Pick n Pay is making a long and interesting play to dominate the clicks and mortar space. We can’t wait to see where this all takes us.

When SPAR bought a 60% slice of SPAR Switzerland last year, it created a bank account in the Isle of Man to hold the stake. “It’s about the currency risk,” said Mr O’Connor, alluding to the travails of the poor old ZAR, when news of the account came out in the recent Paradise Papers leak. The account, set up with the assistance of the law firm Appleby that sits atop the giant pile of documents, was to be used for borrowing and lending money for the operation of the Swiss business and its member stores. The effect of foreign income tax rates saw SPAR’s after-tax profit growing +27.7% against pretax profit growth of +24.6%. This, says Mr O’C., is as a result of the tax structures in Switzerland and Ireland rather than any advantage derived from banking on the Isle of Man, a tax haven and occasional home to hell-bent hordes of motorcyclists. The original plan, apparently, was to set up the account, in the name of SPAR Africa Holdings, in Ireland, but the thinking changed for some reason.

Comment: Also in the Paradise Papers, coincidentally, it was revealed that Irish U2 frontman Bono had used an offshore account for his stake in a Lithuanian shopping mall.

Pioneer has announced that it will take the bold step of acquiring the 50.1% of Heinz’s Foods South African operation that it does not already own, from the legendary US parent company, after realising that the joint venture structure was not yielding much in the way of great tottering piles of cash. The new deal allows Pioneer to make Heinz tomato sauce and other products for two years, and thereafter, who knows? Who knows, also, what the deal was worth? Nobody’s saying. What we do know is that the business has been generating close on R800m in sales, with little to show in the way of profit. This is because, say those in the know, JV deals tend to involve handsome royalties, many of which fall due before the ink is dry, so the first couple of years tend to be a stretch.

Comment: Others in the know say that Pioneer has the scale and reach to make a go of Heinz straight out of the gate. Good luck, that cereal giant!

What news from the cane fields, young squire? As you know, Tongaat Hulett have had a hell of a year, what with the devastating drought in the formerly green, green hills of Natal, not to mention those of Mozambique and Zimbabwe. That unfortunate period is thankfully behind them, now, to the extent that they posted a 9% increase in operating profits for the six months through September, with more surely to come in the second half. And of interest to our clients among the retailers is that they’re finally developing their land to the west of Durban, with a view to turn it into something like the Umhlanga Ridge New Town Centre and its associated golf estates and red-roofed villages, held firmly in place by some species of large mall with loads of space for the lucky retailer willing to pony up the fee for anchor tenantage.

Comment: Brilliant business model. First they turn the sugar into gold, then the gold into property, then the sugar cane fields into golden property, or something. D*amned if we can work out how they do it.

We’re showing our age here, but anyone remember GST – the General Sales Tax the Nats imposed to finance their hunting trips in Timbavati and their Argentinian ranches for when things went south? There was a big to-do about it back then, but we’ve been living with some sort of transaction tax for what, almost forty years now. Now, it seems, there is a move to increase VAT as one means of plugging the gaping R50bn hole in our national budget. A 1% increase in VAT would bring in an extra R20bn a year. VAT is also a highly efficient way of collecting revenue, with only a 6% shortfall between VAT owed and received in South Africa. All of this according to the Davis Tax Committee, which is recommending a two-tier system of 14% for the basics and 18% for luxury items. And it doesn’t stop there – the incomparable Dennis Davis, who heads up the body, is super excited by the release of the Paradise papers (see SPAR, above), which could reveal a further R10bn in potential revenues should SARS investigate the high net worth companies and individuals concerned.

Comment: Solution mode. That’s what we like to see.

SA’s de facto biggest pharmacist is rolling out something called a “bespoke high impact multi-channel digital signage network” in order to build something known as” an innovative media platform” to educate and sell product to punters as they browse the shining aisles. Various screens will inform and engage with punters about promotions, supplier brand and seasonal campaigns, from the shop window to the till point. The solution is provided by Moving Tactics, who sound like someone you’d engage to guard your fuel depot in Helmand Province, but are apparently not that at all.

Fake vouchers for big English retailers like Marks & Spencer, Tesco and Asda are being shared on WhatsApp to troll people for their personal info, be warned, our ex-pat readers, it’s a scam, wonder if someone will try it here (ping!). Aldi’s selling 3D printers, thought you might want to know. And M&S are scaling back their rollout of standalone food stores, even as their South African protégé, Woolies, continues to thrive in that sector. And that’s a wrap. With falafel and tahini and some shredded lettuce.