A grab-bag of news from the Big Blue this week, just to keep things interesting. So Pick n Pay and Absa are celebrating their Golden Wedding this week. Like all old couples, they have their secrets, like the size of the overdraft, or how they managed to move on after Pick n Pay had that midlife dalliance with those racy young Nedbank kiosks. Also, PnP have relaunched their online shopping portal and probably shoved a “2.0” in there somewhere as well. The new machine will apparently work handily alongside the recently relaunched mobile app, and allow punters to collect their groceries, free of charge, from selected stores. And finally, Pick n Pay has let it be known that despite April’s retrenchments – in fact as a direct result of the costs incurred – headline earnings per share (HEPS) will be down by a greater than anticipated margin when the results are announced next week. 

Comment: Which we await with baited breath, kind of like when we used to camp out by the post box waiting for that school report to arrive.

So what’s been up over at Shoprite? Oh, this and that, this and that. For starters, they’ve very kindly installed playpumps in schools in Queenstown and Tsolwana, which historically lacked fresh water, bringing to 34 the number of such initiatives they’ve sponsored. Playpumps, as you know, are an invention so basically ingenious only a South African could have thought of it. Shoprite has a tradition of helping South Africans affected by natural disasters, something not likely to be in short supply in the decades ahead. There was also a piece in the local press about Tru-Cape Fruit Marketing having delivered its 20 millionth crate of the good stuff to Shoprite, which in all honesty is more of a Tru-Cape story, although it does give a good indication of the scale of the Shoprite Operation. And speaking of scale, the listing of Steinhoff African Retail (STAR), new home of Shoprite, has garnered R16bn for parent business Steinhoff, which placed some 23.19% of its interests in the newco. 

Comment: We’ll leave this one to you. Anyone?

Tesco, as you may have heard, has ambitions to purchase wholesaler Booker, which will, they argue “enhance competition and promote consumer interests” while making them a presumable quid or two on the side. Rival wholesalers, including Bestway, Bidfood, Landmark and SPAR, are having none of it, saying that Tesco’s buying power will boost Booker and have a deleterious effect on the compo, and have asked the relevant authorities to take the necessary steps to block the deal. Tesco is in the throes of a turnaround strategy which is enjoying some success. Waitrose, in the meantime, is extending the trial of its recipe box experiment, where you get everything you need to cook a slap-up meal delivered to your doorstep. In the US, a recent study has shown that online grocery retail is going to grow at close on 20% year-on-year for the next five years, which represents a $20bn opportunity for anyone willing and able to jump in. And all over the world, young millennials are indicating that they have more trust in certain retail or lifestyle brands than they do in banks – so when the former start offering financial services, the kids will jump in, mounting a plausible threat to the banking industry. 

Comment: Funny old world, isn’t it?

Comment: Still, it’s nice to read a poultry story that’s not about bird flu or cut-price imports, isn’t it?

The world’s biggest brewer AB InBev has, you will be relieved to know, completed the sale of its 54.5% stake in Coca-Cola Beverages Africa (CCBA) to Coca-Cola, for $3.15bn. CCBA was formed as a vehicle for the transaction in 2016, with the combination of the non-alcoholic bottling operations of SABMiller, The Coca-Cola Company and Gutsche Family Investments. It owns assets in eight African countries, Mayotte and the Comoros, all of which CCBA will hold onto until franchise partners can be found. CCBA itself will continue to operate out of South Africa, which will benefit substantially from the jobs and tax revenues. In the meantime, discussions are ongoing for the acquisition by Coke of similar businesses in Zambia, Zimbabwe, Botswana, Swaziland, Lesotho, El Salvador, and Honduras. 

Comment: In a sector where the tide of history and consumer preference is flowing to small breweries, being the biggest takes some kind of chutzpah.

Good news, peeps, from the great retail sector, which according to the Mastercard SpendingPulse August 2017 Report grew by a nominal +8.1% year-on-year for the month of August, with the moderation of inflation and the partial recovery of such sectors as agriculture and mining. This is the third straight month of growth according to the report, which gives early indicators of how we’re doing economically, rather than waiting around for the sages at StatsSA to poke among the goose intestines and examine the flight patterns of swallows. While Mastercard point to the 27% unemployment rate as cause for more than a little concern, they suggest that a sustained improvement in retail spending could be the little flame that gets our whole economy growing again, and encourage business and government to resume investing. And indeed, the Business Confidence Index (BCI) has shown a slight uptick of 3.4 points, after declining to a historic low earlier this year. 

Comment: There is a certain resilience to the South African economy (and indeed the South African psyche) which responds well to good news.

Our Washington correspondent was having a word with a cashier down at the local Whole Foods yesterday morning, enquiring solicitously about whether things had changed under the new regime. “For the staff, not so much,” she said. “But they have stopped the share option scheme.” Because we wouldn’t want money falling into the wrong hands, now, would we? If we gave it to the poor, they wouldn’t be poor anymore, and then where would we be?