Chief finance controller Bakar Jakoet has been selected to replace Dennis Cope, he of the sardonic wit and colourful neck attire, as CFO of PnP at the end of April 2011. Jakoet has been with the Big Blue since 1984, serving in various number-crunching capacities and heading up the Corporate Finance Division since the late 90s. He will spend the intervening months learning the ropes from Mr Cope, as well as signing up for various local and international programmes aimed at maximising his exposure to international best practice. In other wedge-related Pick n Pay news, Gary Lea has been appointed as Retail Finance Director.

Comment: It is understood that in preparation for the challenges of their new positions, both men will spend a couple of hours each day fielding awkward questions in the Syd Vianello simulator.

Woolies and Netcare have, regrettably, decided to untie the knot and pack up their joint venture in pharmacy. The three trial store-within-a-stores – one in Cape Town, two in Jo’burg – that they opened together are due to close at the end of June. Woolies Food MD, although not the medical kind, obviously, Zyda Rylands says that pharmacy was an innovative idea at the time, but something which is no longer a priority, and Netcare has also said the whole jolly shooting gallery is not core to their business. Drugs, it appears, are a costly undertaking unless you achieve some sort of weird alchemical critical mass as Clicks has managed to do.

Comment: And Woolies has other means of attracting the posher punter into the store than convenient codeine.

Makro and portly epicurian Neil Pendock have entered into an unseemly spat over the Chardonnay, with Pendock arguing that Makro are engaging in false advertising by assigning in their premium liquor guide Platter ratings to wines which are as yet unrated by that eminent chronicler of the vine. Platter’s 2011 guide will rate the wines which Makro is now advertising, huffs Pendock. Ah, says Makro, but we have assigned ratings only to those wines which rate four stars and over – ratings which are not vintage-specific, but which are given to wines which have earned their track record over two or more vintages, and which are surely unlikely to disappoint this year, the red mould or black beetle willing. Makro, says Pendock, are “cherry picking high-rated Platter awards” whatever that means, and thus somehow ripping consumers off.

Comment: Presumably by charging them low prices for top swill.

Tiger Brands reported a 2% decrease in turnover to R10.2billions for the six months to March, a reversal, they say, brought on by a slower than expected economic recovery and the sudden taste punters have developed for the inexpensive delights of private label, whither, say the striped ones, 65% of them have now switched. Retailers, say Tiger, tout private label as it’s better for the old margin, and they intend to counter this with more aggressive marketing, particularly broadsheet advertising, and by having a word to retailers about the positioning of various of Tiger’s brands in their stores. Activation is another focus area.

Comment: Whatever, with respect, activation might be. Anyone? You at the back? Unilever? Anyone?

Chicken producer Astral’s turnover dropped 4% to R4.3billion for the six months to March, although trading margin was up to just over 7% and profits up 9% to a handsome, strutting R304million. A weak festive season was largely to blame, with Astral’s traditional consumer base going home without the benefits of bonuses for the first time in many years. It was the smaller Feeds division that lifted Astral’s results, turning a 10% loss into a 10% profit.

Comment: Interestingly, Astral has declared a 292c per share dividend, suggesting that sunnier times are on their way in the second half.

The large, bubbly, golden one has posted a rise in full-year profits of 6% to $4.38billion, on the back of sales which have increased 4% to $26.4billion. While they have noticed an improvement in the economic climate in emerging markets in Africa, China and Latin America, where they make over 85% of group profit, they are not expecting a full recovery until later in the year. Eastern Europe, where sometimes people get so depressed they can’t even be bothered to drink beer, has been a particularly poor performer over the recession, and declining volumes in India after tax increases have also been a problem. Sluggish conditions in mature markets like South Africa (oh I say!) and North America have also played their part in a set of results which while respectable, do fail to excite somewhat.

Comment: Like the last three inches or so of the pint.

Boxer Superstores is running a series of fan events to celebrate the World Cup and reward its loyal customers. Customers spending more than R50 over the period will gain access on presentation of their till slip to Public Viewing Areas (PVAs) nationwide, located in close proximity to the stores, and packed to the rafters with big screen TVs and loads of gees. Trade Intelligence has been invited – we’ll be running a special report, so watch this space!

Aspen has mentioned that they are to acquire troubled Aussie drug maker Sigma for $570million in order to up their presence in generics, a month after Sigma’s chairman, CEO and CFO all bailed after announcing a hefty annual loss to peevish punters.

In the heady days when people believed that no-name champagne was as good as Moet any day, German hard-discounter Aldi boasted that it would open a store a week for the foreseeable future, hitting its 2008 target of 55 in the UK, but managing only 15 in 2009, as completion in the sector increased and high rentals priced some stores out of the market.

German cash ‘n carry group Metro fell way behind their usual store-opening record of 40, opening only 18 stores last year – in China, Russia, Pakistan, Japan, Ukraine, Turkey and (snigger) Kazakhstan. China is one of Metro’s top ten markets and a springboard into Asia, where the group intends to expand its footprint into other countries. We just thought you’d like to know.