After the crippling slugfest between American producers and our own Ministry of Trade and Industry over tariffs on US chicken imports, a fresh scuffle has broken out about the fate of the 65,000 duty-free tons now allowed across our borders. Half of this, you see, goes to previously disadvantaged middlemen, and the rest is divided among retailers according to historical import volumes. Shoprite, for one, are having none of it. While they understand the whole previously disadvantaged thing, they say, they are concerned that the middleman situation will prevent needy consumers from benefitting from the low low prices. And they are also concerned that import volumes do not equate to actual sales. Their words: “Shoprite believes that using historical imports to determine the allocation of the quota is disingenuous since it by definition, penalises retailers who have supported the local producers for many years.”

Comment: Shoprite sells 60% of all frozen chicken flogged locally, you know what we mean, so it’s fair to say that they’re very much entitled to an opinion on this one.

Look, nobody except maybe Choppies thinks that The Feisty One is going to be opening a flagship concept store in Fourways or Constantia anytime soon. But watch out for them in Zimbabwe, if you happen to be a large South African retailer with territorial ambitions in that oddly untroubled southern African geography. They’ve just opened three supermarkets there in two days, you see, bringing to 29 their total so far. Choppies opened in Zim in 2013, attracted thither by the stability of the US dollar which serves as currency there these days. The opening of the latest store, in Chitungwiza, south of Harare, was attended by Choppies’ chair Festus Mogae, demonstrating the proper manner for a democratically-elected president to enjoy life after office to one Robert Gabriel Mugabe, who cut the ribbon in his capacity as ossified figurehead.

Comment: The rapid and pragmatic expansion of Choppies will be one of the most exciting stories in retail in 2016.

Still operating independently in the world, albeit under the shadow of unholy matrimony with Anheuser Busch, SABMiller is apparently doing the right thing by the people of Tanzania, where it owns a controlling stake in Tanzania Breweries Limited (TBL). TBL has being doing its bit in the preservation of local water sources, brewing apparently being thirsty work, and sharing the savings with the communities surrounding the plants in question. It’s also attempting to ensure improved land use, benefiting 350 local barley farmers who have the assurance of a steady market for their crop. And rather alarmingly, it is taking steps to reduce “pollution that results from gases produced in various stages of beer production.” All of this by way of attempting to bring its business practices into line with the resolutions of the 2015 UN Climate Change Conference in Paris.

Comment: Apparently.

Right, let's whip out the old crystal ball, as is traditional at this time of year, and have a jolly old squizz at the twelve months ahead of us. On second thoughts, let’s play Pictionary instead. GDP growth of an expected 1.5%, or less than a third of what’s needed to add jobs to the economy. Higher interest rates and corporate taxes. Increased fuel levies and a possible wealth tax, in a country where 5% of taxpayers bring in 50% of the fiscal bacon. A weak rand, inflation which could break the bonds of the 3-6% band the Reserve Bank has targeted as healthy, and the inevitable rate hikes which will ensue. On the upside, the government has taken steps to reduce the budget deficit, notably by employing slightly fewer people than has been its wont of late. And it has staged interventions, too intricate to encompass here, to establish a better environment for foreign investments.

Comment: The grown-ups are still in the house, thank goodness.