Well hello there, SPAR! Long time, no Tatler. The Verdant One (International version), we are told this week, is increasing the pace of its push into Africa. Just a week after opening its first emporium in Lilongwe, Malawi (where it will benefit no doubt from the inexplicable hunger pangs of young overlanders, as well as those of the locals), SPAR has announced that it’s also opened up in Douala, Cameroon, in a JV with a local partner, L’Atrium S.A, which already has 17 stores in Douala and the capital Yaoundé, as well as six DCs scattered around the country. Next up for SPAR are three more stores, including a Hyper. While SPAR South Africa does have some stores beyond our borders, these are not those: they’re operated under the international division, which nevertheless credits SPAR South Africa with a major assist in terms of local knowledge and best practice.

Comment: And so it begins: SPAR in Africa will be, we confidently predict, one of the big stories of the next ten years.

Meanwhile, over at Shoprite, the shareholders are getting restless, as they’ve been known to when times get tough. Shoprite’s biggest investor, the Public Investment Corp. (PIC), which has a 12.6% stake in The Big Red One, has taken issue with the how (not the how much) of Whitey Basson’s paycheck, which at R50.1million is structured almost entirely as a fixed payment, rather than a performance-based salary. The PIC was among a number of investors at the AGM which voted against the policy. And while we're on the subject of Shoprite, an intrepid (and no doubt swarthy and swashbuckling) Spanish outfit, Distribuidora Internacional de Alimentacion SA (DIA), is setting up shop in Nigeria, where it plans to open 100-odd stores in the next five years. DIA is Europe’s third-biggest franchise operation, with almost 7,000 stores and 49 DCs worldwide.

Comment: And it’s a mark of Whitey’s success that experts are wondering whether DIA has what it takes to go head-to-head with Shoprite, rather than the other way around…

Clicks is going to be forking out a record R432m in capex next year, opening 20-25 new stores and 25-35 new pharmacies and refurbishing 50 stores, even as rival Dis-Chem enters the listed pharmacy space, although the two phenomena are not necessarily related. In fact, says the ever-cool Mr Kneale, he believes there’s room for two major players in SA, like the Boots/Superdrug rivalry in the UK and the CVS/Walgreens bunfight in the US. Mr Kn. has good cause for this bullish generosity of spirit: Clicks grew turnover 15.3% to R22.1bn in the year through August and operating profit a solid 14.6% to R1.4bn. Clicks has been hedged against pressure on consumer spending by its wholesale business UPD, which grew 21.6% and accounts for nearly half of total turnover, while the core chain grew a still-respectable 10.9%, assisted thither by markdowns and specials.

Comment: Like many South African retailers, both Clicks and Dis-Chem put many of their international counterparts to shame (we’re looking at you, CVS and Walgreen) both in product offering and customer experience.

It is likely that Japan Tobacco International (JTI), a business which makes addictive products that cause illness and death via suffering and penury, might be closing its factory in South Africa, in order to save money for its shareholders and more efficiently kill the remaining customers who still think, against all scientific evidence, that buying its lethal products is a good idea. JTI produces such still amazingly popular brands as Benson & Hedges, Camel and Silk, which in sufficient quantities – i.e. the quantities in which they are usually consumed – will in many cases kill you. JTI’s Wadeville factory employs only 84 workers, but produces 1.9 billion cigarettes per annum, which is more than the breaths you will take in your lifetime. If stretched, it could produce as many as 6.7 billion, but fortunately, global demand is declining to such an extent that there is no call for either number. JTI currently holds less than 9% of market share here; 70% is held by a business called British American Tobacco – although there are few smokers left in either of those geographies.

Comment: A slight uptick in the aggregate of human wellbeing is always a good thing.

A rough third quarter for Coke, which posted loss of revenue to the tune of 4.6% to $11.4billion globally, as the strength of the dollar depressed sales totals outside of the US. Soda sales are also down, which has led the business to “trim” – an unintentionally hilarious term – $3billion from its annual expenses, and plough some of this back into marketing and product development. It’s also selling smaller SKUs for more, and jacking up its bottling system to run more profitably. Coke is casting far and wide for new markets as soda loses its fizz, investing in such inconsistently wholesome businesses as Suja Life organic juices and Monster Beverage Corp, which produces drinks that cause insomnia and convulsions merely on opening its nattily branded refrigerators.

Comment: The gradual reinvention of Coke as people opt for healthier choices is going to be another one of those stories to watch over the next decade or so.

The bad news is that our national brand – that’s Brand South Africa, not Koo or Lucky Star – has lost 12% of its value in the last year. The good news is that it’s still worth $225billion. This according to the Brand Finance Nation Brands 2015 report, which ranks 100 countries according to three pillars: goods and services, investment, and society, but otherwise sounds suspiciously like one of those businesses which ranks things in order to make money out of ranking them. Sub-categories include tourism, the market, governance, people, and skills, and with at least a couple of those you can see where our problem might lie. To put things in global perspective, the US is worth $19.7trillion (up 2%), while China comes in second, at $6.3 trillion (down 1%). Nigeria’s value has risen, ominously, by 6% to $189billion.

Comment: Comment: Unfortunately, Brand SA, however intangible, is the only one we’ve got. No switching to private label when things get tight, here.

When SABMiller and ABInbev finally reach their thunderous and tediously inevitable consummation, there will be a great disposing of non-core assets and businesses whose continued existence in the stable would hint darkly at monopoly. One of the former is Distell, part-owned by SAB, and one-time tobacco outfit Remgro, which also has a stake, may be interested in picking this share up. Or so we are told.

Our good friends Barloworld have helped our ex- and perhaps greatest first lady Graca Machel celebrate her three score years and ten in the most fitting way possible, by leading a challenge to package 100,000 meals for delivery to the Zizile Institute for Child Development in Mozambique. Happy birthday, Ma’am, and many more.