As expected – reported in fact, in these pages seven short days ago – Pick n Pay’s half year profit soared like the proverbial by 36.6% to R261million, lifted on the wings of a major cost cutting exercise which saw heads roll and the supply chain tighten up, on the back of a more modest 6.8% increase in sales, because of the industry-wide downswing, electricity prices and consumer debt. More worryingly, market share dipped, suggesting that those perhaps necessary disciplinary measures, while a good start, might not be enough to get The Big Blue back into the game against arch-nemesis Shoprite. Like store sales grew by a muted 4%, while volumes were down 2.5%. One explanation of this might be the loss of upper-end punters to a rampant Woolies, which is broadening its range, promoting more heavily and adding more branded product to its shelves.

Comment: If you’d prefer a more detailed and responsible view, we might suggest that you click here and have a squizz at our summary on the results.

Last week, or the week before, Mr Susman made one of his periodic pronouncements on the state of South African life, and was savaged in the press for Woolies’ own record of transformation. Cannily, the Dapper One chose to respond with an article – lucid, comprehensive, compelling – from Sam Ngumeni, who began his career at Woolies 13 years ago in the call centre, and is now Chief Operating Officer, ahem. What you would have to call both BB and B, not to mention EE. In the story, well worth a full read here, Mr N. points out that 75% of Woolies’ executive directors are black, and many have come up through the ranks. He points to their level 3 BBBEE status, a result, he says, of their vaunted Good Business Journey, gets into their supplier development programme, acknowledges the role of broader transformation in the rise of Woolies’ growing black customer base, and generally sticks it to the critics in the most affable manner possible.

Comment: It’s hard to fault Woolies on their strategic rise to dominance at the upper end of retail. Although that doesn’t stop a broad chorus of detractors from trying.

Looking no doubt to boost their second half turnover, the Men in Black are offering something a little special to the better-heeled toper in this season’s catalogue of pricy booze. viz. and namely a limited edition bottle of Chivas’ Royal Salute Tribute to Honour at the everything-must-go-price of R2million. The bottle itself, it must be said, is as hideously gaudy as only a special edition whiskey bottle can be, and the contents, if you’ll forgive us for quoting here, you’ll see why in a second, is a blend of “the rarest and most opulent whiskies” from the “archive of liquid history” aka the Strathisla distillery, the oldest continuously operating distillery in Scotland. If that’s a bit of a rich mix for the blood, you may wish to rather pick up the Balvenie 50 YO Speyside SM for just R539,999.

Comment: Say what you like (and we suppose we just did) the annual orgy of vicarious pleasure that is the Makro Liquors catalogue is a canny bit of marketing from that august institution. *Thanks Hagen Engler

Tiger Brands it recalling its range of Tastic Simply Delicious Sauces and ready-to-eat rices to the tune of more than 200,000 packs after it detected traces of Methyl Yellow and Sudan 1 colourants in seven of 20 variants. The Stripy One has been routinely testing product since the Sudan Red scandal of 2005, which involved several manufacturers but not Tiger Brands, and this is the first time those potentially carcinogenic substances have been found. Tiger sources all of its rice products from India and Thailand, where corners have been known to be cut, hence the screening, and has attributed the release of contaminated products before the test results were out to “an error in judgment” internally. 

Comment: The joys of the global supply chain, we suppose. Kudo’s to Tiger for its fast recall and transparency.

The dear old Competition Commission has approved Clover’s acquisition of Dairybelle’s UHT milk and yoghurt businesses, you will be pleased to know, if you like that sort of thing, and we suspect you do. It will doubtless surprise you to know, as it did us, that Clover is not currently even involved in the production of yoghurt, so no worries there, and the UHT business is not going to be such a behemoth as to interfere with anyone’s access to the market, the concerns of dairy farmers notwithstanding. The current deal with Danone, to whom Clover supplies secondary distribution services, is at issue however. The Comish believes that should Clover terminate this arrangement, as it has given notice to do, anti-competitive outcomes and a negative impact on employment will ensue.

Comment: There’s something comforting about the Commissions’ role in these areas of public interest, should you happen not to be on the wrong side of one of its judgments.

Retail sales grew just 2.1% year-on-year for the month of August, reflecting the litany of woes that has become the new normal for followers of the business press: weak consumer confidence, higher electricity prices, slow economic growth, elevated household debt, et bloody cetera. Month-on-month the picture is scarcely better: 0.6% after an increase of 1.2% in July and June’s decline of 0.8%. The big, if that’s the word, winners in retail sales were general dealers and retailers of hardware, paint and glass, as punters are more inclined in these hard times to mend than to spend. Our own great sector, classified as “Food, beverages and tobacco in specialised Stores” by the hoary sages of StatsSA, declined to the tune of 1.9% year-on-year, which we’re pretty sure is not what you were hoping to hear. 

Comment: StatsSA, we would argue, marks one of the high points in governance in the Beloved Country at the moment. Hurry on over to their very smart and informative website and you’ll see what we mean.

Earlier this month, Pioneer spinoff and egg, broiler and animal feeds business Quantum Foods listed at R5 per share, but closed its first week on the JSE at R3.68. Now, analysts are expecting further drops over the next few weeks, as a result of the high early evaluation and negative overall market sentiment. Hard times.

SAB’s lager volumes have declined 1% in the last quarter due to weak demand in China and Australia, where they have declined by a parched 8%. Sales there, we are told, are heavily dependent on the weather and on market sentiment. To which we would reply: “Strewth, it’s a scorcher! Where me tinnie?”