HEPS, we are told, are a reliable measure of a business’ profitability, which is nice for Pick n Pay, as theirs is up 35-45% for the year which ended on our birthday, on March 2. This on revenues which grew just 7.7%, pointing to The Big Blue’s great success in reducing staff and supply chain overheads and generally tightening things up.

The acquisition of Shoprite’s three Tanzanian stores by local heroes Nakumatt is to be delayed until the middle of the year while the Fair Competition Commission has a gander at the deal and a jolly old conflab about it, with no reason given. Undeterred by this setback, The Big Red One is going ahead and opening its second store in Abuja, Nigeria, with 7 now trading and a total of 44 targeted for Africa’s newest biggest economy.

Still going great guns this week would be Dis-Chem, opening their first store in Namibia and targeting another ten here at home by the end of the year, for a not-unimpressive and presumably Clicks-rattling total of 84. The chain was started in 1978 by Lynette and Ivan Salzman, trading in just 11 stores in 2009 before the fireworks began.

Uh, oh. When asked by Business Day for the reasons for his tersely-worded resignation this week, Jonathan Louw fired back with a question of his own. “When last did you write anything positive about me or Adcock? When you reflect on that, call me back.” This against the backdrop of Adcock’s poor performance and rampant Bidvest involvement in the business.

Joining the ranks of many of their peers in the industry are Unilever, under investigation for price collusion in the margarine game with Sime Darby Hudson & Knight, a privately owned Malaysian outfit specialising in fats and oils. The Competition Ninjas raided the offices of both last week, seizing documents which they believe bore the hallmarks of a smoking gun.

Good news! Consumer confidence is up this week, to the levels last reached during the heady days of load shedding and the global financial crisis, in 2008. Inflation, higher borrowing costs, indebtedness and unemployment are to blame for this happy state of affairs. Them, and an economy which appears to be sitting on its hands and whistling the theme song from The Dingleys.