The hatchet-faced men and severely-suited women who ply the rough streets of Analystville are less than impressed with Massmart’s trading update. The Men in Black grew sales 8.9% to R32.3bn in the 26 weeks to June 23, with comparable store sales up 5%. Within this, Makro performed slightly better at 13.6% and 6.9% comparably, with Massdiscounters, comprising Game and DionWired, growing just 9% or 3.7% on a comparable basis. Massbuild grew 9%, but Masscash, operating Massmart’s lower-end food brands, came through at a worrying 5.5%. This according to various commentators reflects the global trend of slower economic growth and the national phenomenon of credit-stretched consumers, and things are unlikely to tick up substantially any time soon. The real worry is that comparable sales growth showed a declining trend over the period under review.

Comment: Now does not seem to be the right time to gauge the success or otherwise of the Wakro deal, whose outcome may perhaps better be measured over decades rather than mere years.

Entrenching their position in the ranks of South Africa’s serious virtual trenchermen (look it up, look it up) and of course women, and of course the readers who follow them, Pick n Pay is launching South Africa’s first competition for food bloggers, who it turns out love not merely to write about the stuff but also to prepare it. The competition will run from July to September and will set a series of weekly culinary challenges for 40 food bloggers across the digital republic. They will be judged on their efforts by a panel which comprises Fresh Living editor Justine Drake, food editor Anke Roux and Pick n Pay’s food developer Yvonne Short, and the winner will receive the coveted title of ‘Top Blogger’ and of course a whole bunch of goodies as well as exposure in Fresh Living itself.

Comment: This internet thingy really seems to be taking off. Nice one, PnP and way to make your mark with the influential innovators and early adopters of the foodie demographic.

SPAR Botswana is running a co-branded loyalty programme with cement makers PPC, offering anyone who buys 25 bags of BOTCEM, 20 bags of SUREBUILD or one ton of PPC cement a chance to win P2,500 worth of groceries every month for a year and a grand prize of P100,000 cash. Back home, the verdant one is cementing its relationship with the famous brewing monks of the ancient SABMiller order, with whom it is once again hosting SA’s biggest Bierfest, at Durban’s Suncoast Casino from September 12 through 15. SAB will be showcasing three especially brewed beers, and entertainment will include an actual oompah band, presumably resplendent with some flamboyant whiskerage. Here, SPAR is cannily tapping into beer culture, which is exploding globally like something you brewed in an old HTH bucket under the sink.

Comment: What we’re looking at in this story is SPAR’s nimble adaptability in pleasing and surprising the shopper, whether it’s the beer-quaffing boytjies of Durban’s Sunrise Strip or the industrious homemakers of dusty Gaborone.

Much has been heard and more said about the wildly exciting opportunities Africa offers the wide-eyed young brand with ambitions to make something of itself. But beware the pitfalls, young brand! According to Aperio Consulting, you see, Africa is not one place, and its highly fragmented markets with their demand for locally relevant products mean that you have to be light on your feet. Focus on route to market, is Aperio’s advice, and you should be alright. Big research boys McKinsey agree. While cities may offer the best opportunities for growth, they say, the megacities like Lagos and our very own Jhb might not be your best ports of call. Mid-tier cities like Abidjan and Rabat might be more accessible, less competitive and more profitable.

Comment: But keep your eyes on the prize! The CPG industry, which we call home, is expected to grow by $400bn by 2020 in Africa – more than anywhere else in the world, according to McK.

As mentioned last week, the blokes (and lady-blokes) who continually and miraculously persuade us to part with absolutely barking amounts of wedge for our daily shave have got a soft spot for this little slice of Eden we call home. Africa that is, and in particular, the bit at the bottom, where we have a seemingly endless appetite for laundry soap. Here are some more stats on that other soapy sud. P&G launched Ariel here in May, plotting an assault on Fortress OMO, and in the past couple months have done rather well out of it. For the next ten to fifteen years, however, they are content to be a gamely battling number two before mounting their final offensive in the top spot. In Kenya, by way of contrast, Ariel owns 25% of the market, with OMO holding 18% and Sunlight 17%.

Comment: So hold onto your laundry powder, it’s gonna get interesting.

Along with airports, the shopping mall is the most checked-in venue for South African users of Facebook, a sort of website thingy which enables you to keep up with jolly nice people who might otherwise have drifted into the mists of memory. This according to the South African Council of Shopping Centres, a name which somehow always puts us in mind of a group of robed and bearded sages deliberating weighty matters, who also aver that 65% of malls have a Facebook presence, 45% of them are on Twitter (@musgravecentre my escalators are running at 98% capacity today #groan) while 43% of them use the laughably primitive method of sending out emailers to keep in touch with those of their customers who read e-newsletters from prime bits of commercial real estate. As 84% of South Africans now own a cellphone, mobile apps apparently represent the biggest opportunity for malls, as for the rest of us.

Comment: Are they doing enough? Can any of us really be said to be spending “enough time” on Facebook? Don’t answer.

Jay Currie, who we are reliably told sported a fetching line in khaki during his Mala Mala days and latterly rose mercurially through the Massmart ranks for a while, is now turning his prodigious attention to fast food, joining Taste Holdings in the custom-made position of Chief Executive of the Food Division. Taste has over 500 outlets across various franchises, viz. Scooters Pizza, Maxi’s Restaurants, St Elmo’s Woodfired Pizza and The Fish & Chip Co. Franchisees, however, can be somewhat more difficult to round up than impala.

You’re not going to like this, Billy Bones, but Europe’s citrus buyers are making it increasingly difficult for us to market our fruit over there, threatening to reduce from eight to five the number of interceptions allowable of fruit infected by a harmless though mildly unsightly fungus called the Black Spot. This in effect means that if five fruit of the over 600,000 tons we sell there annually have one tiny black spot each, it’s game off – a measure our farmers are calling protectionist.