Massmart’s sales for the first 21 weeks of its FY rose only 9.8%, or 5.6% in comparable stores, which disappointed punters to the tune of 2.6% a share. This slow top-line growth is not what the doctor ordered when you look at the sizeable investments the Men in Black have made in the supply chain, although Mr Pattison promises to lay off the Nintendo to focus on growing sales, tightening up on costs, and keeping his room tidy for the remainder of this rapidly diminishing year.

Word on the street is that Tusky’s of Kenya have acquired, for an undisclosed number of shillings, the Nairobi operations of their rival Ukwala, as both growth and competition in the East African retail space heat up. Tusky’s has 45 stores, in Kenya and Uganda, with plans to join the race for regional real estate with rivals Nakumatt, Uchumi and Naivas.

SA’s shoppers have given our supermarkets a truly impressive 79/100 on the quality of goods and services on offer in the recent South African Consumer Satisfaction Index (SAcsi) survey, with Woolies scoring biggest at 6.2% above the industry mean, Pick n Pay, Checkers and SPAR all coming in at par, and Shoprite just 2.4% down. Only Greece scored higher than the Beloved Country globally, and Woolies were ahead of the comparable competition everywhere.

Barloworld, best known in these parts for their sterling efforts in bringing goods to market, released a tidy set of interims the other day, with sales up 11% for the six months to March and operating profit up a handsome 14%. In the automotive and logistics division, profit was up 27% to R673million.

In case you were worried about the fortunes of British American Tobacco in the face of the onslaught of the edgily-named e-cigarette, (Apple, we are told, will soon be bringing out a smaller, squarer, sleeker iFag) well don’t. They’ve decided not to go down the Kodak road, and will be launching their own version, known predatorily as Vype, on the European market in the months ahead. CEO Nicandro Durante, who was surely appointed in part for his name, has forecast that tobacco alternatives could make up 40% of the company’s revenue in 20 years’ time.

The periodic weakness of the dear old ZAR, which broke through the R10/USD ceiling yesterday, is familiar territory to those of us who’ve been round the block a few times. But couple it to slow economic growth, a recent downgrade on our prospects by the mandarins over at the World Bank and a deficit in moral and political leadership here at home, and we could be looking at a long slide rather than a quick recovery. Who loses? The poor, of course, and everyone who hasn’t diversified their risk by going offshore. Exporters may experience some upside in the short term, but as inflation rises and interest rates go up, even they lose out. As we’ve mentioned before, hold onto your hats, and your thumbs.