We don’t just have horsemeat in our burgers in South Africa. Oh, no, we have donkey. Goat. Water buffalo, for goodness sake. All of these fine sources of protein, as well as “undeclared vegetable matter” were found in up to 68% of the 139 minced meats, burger patties, deli meats, sausages and dried meats that were tested by the white-coated worthies of the Universteit van Stellenbos’ Animal Sciences Department. And it gets worse: to add an insult worthy of a World Cup cricket final to injury, a study by the University of the Western Cape found that 100 of 146 biltong samples tested contained “undeclared meat species” including horse, pork and, we can barely bring ourselves to type the word, kangaroo.
Comment: We prefer our extraneous protein to have four legs, thank you very much. Or six, at a push. But not, in the name of all that is chewy and cholesterol-ridden, two.