More action up north from the Big Red One. Shoprite, we are reliably informed by the Nigerian press, is part of a consortium which includes Walmart and Nigeria’s very own Topright Ventures, which will shell out $500million US for the construction of a mall in Owerri, the Imo state capital. It’s all tied up in politics, as far as we can tell, but not in a bad way, as far as we can tell. Ex-senator Annie Okonkwo (that’s a him) is a major stakeholder in Topright, and Imo Governor Rochas Okorocha has been abroad furiously canvassing for investment in the presumably once-beleagured region, whose new roads, schools and hospitals are now rendering it attractive to FDI.

Comment: Shoprite and Walmart, eh? In keeping, we suppose, with the old double whammy strategy where a Game and a Shoprite would anchor an African mall firmly to the rich red soil of the mother continent.

The government’s obsessive pursuit of the Walmart/Massmart deal has cost you and me – or taxpayers, anyway – something in the order of R4.1million to date. Don’t ask us, ask them, they’ve fessed up in a bland and neutral press release whose only bit of justification for the expenditure goes a little something like this: “The costs … should therefore be viewed in the context of the significant outcomes which have been achieved for the public in this matter.” And in order that the public continue to benefit from the government’s dogged representations to the various authorities, they’ve hired someone by the name of Joseph Stiglitz (no relation to any fictional deranged Nazi-killers), ex-chief economist for the World Bank and a Nobel laureate as their representative on the committee which will be looking at ways small farmers can sell their tomatoes to Makro, or something.

Comment: And they’ve got Stephen Hawking in to change the light bulbs.

So it turns out that no-one has been “asking” ahem, “suggesting” or even “encouraging” pensioners collecting their monthly scrapings from various retailers to fork out any of it whatsoever in-store. As you will have heard, with the cessation of pension payments at places like the Post Office, the South African Social Security Agency (Sassa) has said that they are aware of “unscrupulous retailers”, including some belonging to the major chains, which have been requiring that the recipients of social grants spend 10% of their pension in the store where it has been collected. There’s also the suggestion that some retailers hike the price on the basics on pension day. Not so, say statements from Pick n Pay, Shoprite and SPAR.

Comment: In fairness, collecting in-store is probably the safest, most convenient way to get the job done. And some retailers, whose left hands tell not their right hands what they are doing, go out of their way to in fact provide value for anxious pensioners.

Diversified industrial outfit (fish, hotels, tractors, water, hardware, that sort of thing) Lonrho have scored something of a coup recently. They’ve upped and signed a partnership deal with US retailer Costco, which will be selling their Oceanfresh Seafood Division’s sustainably sourced wild caught hake loins under their premium ‘Kirkland Signature’ brand. Costco, as you will doubtless be aware, is one the world’s larger retailers, with revenues last year of US$88.9billion and 600 warehouses in eight countries. The tasty chunks of aquatic protein will be rolled out in the US first, followed by Canada and Mexico, then other Costco territories. While Oceanfresh have been selling hake to Costco for some time, this partnership represents a pleasing step-change for the business.

Comment: Great stuff. Particularly the “sustainably sourced” bit.

GlaxoSmithKline, still labouring under a woeful shortage of punctuation but otherwise doing very nicely thank you, are stepping up their efforts to eliminate human rights abuses from their supply chain. These include, alarmingly, forced labour, child exploitation, slavery, discrimination and inhuman working hours. To avoid doing business with companies that sanction these practices, GSK’s environmental, health and safety audits of new and existing suppliers also include questions that help them identify contraventions of their human rights clauses. At the same time, the pharmaceutical giant has announced new measures to improve the delivery of its products and services to customers in developing markets, through its newly-established developing countries and market access (DCMA) operating unit.

Comment: So if you want to get with GSK, clean up your act is the message.

Wine companies have more to announce than other businesses. And some of it is pretty cool stuff. You may recall that Distell’s operating profit increased by 22.4% YOY for the six months to December, with revenue up 15.9% to R8bn and volumes up 10.2%. Now, they are pleased to inform us, it has emerged that the grape harvest yield is up 5% on last year’s. Also, that the harvest has produced “excellent-quality aromatic whites and reds of intense colour and well-balanced ripeness.” Here’s the cool part. Distell’s research into ripening and ideal harvest times is giving them a modicum of competitive advantage, where they plan eventual wines while the grapes are still on the vine, matching viticultural practices to wine style and even price point.

Comment: And that old guy with the big nose and the merry twinkle in his eye, swilling this year’s vintage in an appreciative and meditative glass? What’s he meant to do now?

What is it with those funny little in-store ATMs? The lighting swift strike of the card. The clunky LED display on the screen. The unfamiliar logos. The nervous, interminable wait for the cash and the grinding noise when it comes out. The unfamiliar smell of freshly-baked bread. All this by way of letting you know that according to the Spark Cash Index (SCI), wholesale locations recorded the highest average value of cash withdrawals for the month of March at R430.78, as well as the largest year-on-year growth of 9.33%. Petrol stations came in second at R424.58, with year-on-year growth of 5.84%, while retail sites came in third at R412.66 and YOY growth of 3.64%.

Comment: But all of these sites lack the thrill factor of a windswept mall courtyard at 2a.m.

The digital mavens at The Big Blue have noticed a substantial uptick in the number of people accessing their Facebook page from their mobile devices, which we believe is another name for cell phones, and are now tailoring their messaging to meet the zippy demands of this exciting new medium. Does anyone actually do any work anymore?

We had no idea, but apparently Tesco are in a spot of bother and will need to spend something in the order of a billion honest English sterling to get themselves back on track. The wedge will be spent over a year of lowering prices, adding staff and improving stores, products and fresh food in order to up sales, and comes hot on the heels of a very disappointing Christmas indeed.

One of the challenges facing SABMiller with their recent acquisition downunder is the reluctance of the Aussie punter, would you believe it, to drink beer. Among the nations Australians now drink less than are the Poles, Columbians, South Africans and even the bleeding Canadians.