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Say what you like about accountants, they’re not boring. Oh, wait, that’s marine biologists we’re thinking of, and firemen. But when accountants name a survey, they do it with a certain je ne sais quoi. Thus the Deloitte Global Powers of Retailing Survey, in which our big boys have done rather well this year: Shoprite in 92nd position globally, up from 95th last year, and still the biggest in Africa and the ME. Massmart coming strongly in at 126th globally and second in Africa, and Pick n Pay at number 133 and third respectively – having once been the indisputable biggest retailer in the RS of A. SPAR a handsome 179th and 4th, with Woolies in a suitably muted but pleasingly symmetrical 222nd. Africa was the world’s fastest growing region, with 15.4% growth compared with Latin America’s 14.8%, which augurs well for the future.

Comment: Take that, Captain Ackerman! Kerpow!

It’s the kind of thing that probably only really works in a little place like Swaziland, but over the border, Pick n Pay have shown the fist of iron within the velvet glove to some of the region’s biggest brands and manufacturers, including Kellogg’s, Simba, Johnson & Johnson, Listerine, Aquafresh and Pampers by boycotting them on the grounds of pricing. This from food merchandise director Peter Arnold: “Most of our suppliers have responded well and we have negotiated new pricing. (But some) have not responded as well and are sticking to previously decentralised pricing despite the cost savings to them.” It is the Big Blue’s intention to replace affected product until more favourable terms can be reached through negotiation. The development is being spun as a blow for consumer sovereignty by a retailer which seeks to own that position.

Comment: A bold but risky move, where other retailers continue to stock the same popular national brands.

Happy Massmart punters are tucking the napkins into their cutaway collars and squaring their elbows down at the Young Retailers Sporting and Social Club on the news that the Men in Black are set to deliver higher than expected headline earnings for the six months to Xmas: 10%-18% higher, or 402.4 cents to 431.6c per share, to be precise. Young Mr Pattison believes that this good fortune is due in no small measure to “investments in price, growth, capacity and integration.” He does, typically, caution that these investments will put some pressure on operating profit in the short term, but atypically also mentions that he expects sales to continue strong.

Comment: Cool heads, hot numbers in that business right now.

Ten big retailers, including our very own Pick n Pay, have joined forces in a court action to force the South African Music Producers Association (Sampra) to reduce royalties on music played in-store, or “muzak” as it is technically known. The current price is R500 per year on every 50m² where the music will be heard, leaving Pick n Pay, for example, with a bill of R1.2milion annually. The retailers believe that Sampra allows the four major record companies – EMI, Sony, BMG and Gallo – to act as a cartel in setting prices, and have offered to pay their royalties in escrow until the matter is resolved. Judge Phatudi, who is hearing the matter, says that he would be happy to know if music keeps them shopping, something we do not yet have the technology to ascertain.

Comment: For R500k, we’ll sell them a set of tapes of ourselves, reading classics like “Wuthering Heights” and “Bleak House” to keep the punters on their toes.

So Mr Badminton over at Pick n Pay has decided to call it a day while he still has his youthful looks. He has had a torrid time of it these past six years, taking over as rival Shoprite upped the ante and took the fight to the next level, and presiding over a time of dramatic change for the business notably the much-debated switch to centralised distribution. He oversaw the protracted SAP implementation and the merging of three operating regions to form a single inland region, and implemented a category-based buying structure. On his watch, Pick n Pay launched a massive loyalty programme and saw it grow from zero to four million in ten seconds flat. He trod the difficult tightrope that belongs to the CEO of a family-controlled yet publicly-traded company, and did all of this with an air of quiet dignity and unwavering good humour. He had his detractors, who missed perhaps the apparently more swashbuckling spirit of his predecessor, but the last six months will surely have muted if not silenced them – a successful fight with the Australian Competition Authorities and the disposal of Franklins, the emergence at last of a cohesive strategy for Africa, an unprecedented deal with SACCAWU and some major changes at board level to cement the transformation of the business.

Comment: Nick Badminton has served Pick n Pay, man and boy, for 32 years and will now be spending more time in the saddle of what we hope is a very nice bicycle.

Global consumer products giant Unilever has reported a growth in sales volumes of just 0.1% for the fourth quarter of this FY we like to call 12, its slowest rise in a three-year period which, you may recall, began with the onset of a crippling global recession. Volume growth has been affected by a range of factors – notably, the horrible cost of edible oils, which rose 6.5% in the fourth quarter alone, but which, says le Grand Bleu, should dissipate sometime soon. Unilever has in recent years expressed its intention to grow sales by 50%; 2011 has thrown a hefty spanner in the works. And refreshingly for a business built on marketing, they are not downplaying their disappointment: “We cannot recollect a more challenging year as 2011,” according to CFO Jean-Marc Huet. Interestingly, though, what growth there has been has been underpinned by performance in Africa and Asia, particularly in Indonesia, Vietnam, and a little place some of us like to call Mzansi.

Comment: Tough times, sure. But a heck of a business, with its focus in the right place.

Our breakfast companions over at The Crunchy One report a full-year decline of 0.7% for a total of $2.0bn for the recent financial year, which they attribute to ongoing investment in their supply chain, the reinstatement of incentive compensation costs (is that the same as bonuses? Ed.), and continued high-levels of commodity inflation. Sales, in the meantime, continued fairly strong at $13.2bn, up by 6.5% from the year 10. On the supply chain side, apparently 2012 will see more of the same, although they will also focus their efforts on increasing investment in brand building and bringing innovation to the market.

Comment: There seems in these stoic times to be an increasing willingness among businesses to stare down the shareholders and invest in infrastructure. Solid.

No surprises here, but the regions affected worst by unemployment remain KZN, Limpopo and the Eastern Cape, according to the South African Institute of Race Relations. Unemployment is running at 41% in KZN, tracked closely at 40% by the other two, while the Eastern Cape is the country’s poorest region, with poverty rates of 64%, followed by Limpopo (62%) and KZN (61%). That number, by the way, refers to the number of households living on R800 or less a month. The Western Cape fares notably better, with unemployment at 21% and poverty at 32%. Joburg’s poverty rate is high at 45%, although other municipalities in Gauteng – notably Ekurhuleni (27%) and Tshwane (28%) enjoy if that’s the word some of the lowest poverty rates in the country.

Comment: How do those numbers gel with your national sales? Thought so.

The hatchet-faced sergeants of the Analysts Battalion reckon that things of South Africa’s retail sector have got about as good as they’re going to get. Nielsen has reported an overall 0,4% fall in sales volumes in our great sector in the 12 months to September, while the likes of Tiger Brands are beginning to experience sagging demand. This is in part due to certain overweight chickens which are coming home to roost – for example, above-inflationary wage increases every year, a trend which must soon hit the brick wall of reality. And the rampant levels of household indebtedness, with debt now sitting at 80% relative to household income compared with 40% ten years ago. Some analysts give the “retail party” as they put it, another year tops before the shareholders turn nasty as they recently did with Clicks.

Comment: Get it while the getting’s good, then.

OK it’s probably not going to swing the shareprice one way or the other, but Shoprite in Zambia (where rival PnP has a significant toehold) are partnering with the Zambia Tourist Board in the marketing of that increasingly less basket-shaped case, notably through the sale, not for profit, of a ZTB calendar at some of its stores.

Making like Massmart (above), AVI have announced that they expect a pleasing uptick in headline earnings per share for total operations in the six months to December 2011 to the tune of 30% for a total of 194.4 cents, thanks in some measure to the exclusion of the recently sold Denny’s numbers from the books.